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Say What? Archive

What a long, strange strip it's been

Welcome to the Doonesbury Say What? Archive

Say What?

May 21, 2011

"Amazingly, May 21, 2011 is the 17th day of the 2nd month of the biblical calendar of our day. Remember, the flood waters also began on the 17th day of the 2nd month, in the year 4990 B.C....This is going to happen. Millions will die. It's going to be horrible."

– Harold Camping on Judgment Day, which he says will begin today, exactly 7,000 years after Noah's flood, with a major earthquake at 6:00 pm PDT

May 20, 2011

"It's going to take a while for the news media to realize that you're covering something that happens once or twice in a century, a genuine grass-roots campaign of very big ideas. I expect it to take a while for it to sink in."

– Newt Gingrich

May 19, 2011

"In a stunning development one day after the release of Where's the Birth Certificate? The Case that Barack Obama in not Eligible to be President, by Dr. Jerome Corsi, World Net Daily Editor and Chief Executive Officer Joseph Farh has announced plans to recall and pulp the entire 200,000 first printing of the book."

– satirical piece in Esquire

"We are exploring our legal options...I don't know who Esquire's anonymous sources are, but I can only guess that their address is 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue."

– Farah in response, thinking the story was serious

May 18, 2011

"Omar [bin Laden] wrote that he had lost faith in his father as a young adult in war-ravaged Afghanistan when Osama suggested that he and his brothers consider taking up suicide bombing in the Taliban's cause. The boys demurred; Omar never got over the request. "My father," he wrote "hated his enemies more than he loved his sons."

– from recent New Yorker article

May 17, 2011

"So, I make you this promise: that I will continue to voice my opinions loudly and help to shape our politician's [sic] thoughts."

– Donald Trump

May 16, 2011

"Donald Trump would be better for America than Barack Obama."

– Mike Huckabee

May 14, 2011

"SEAL Team 6."

– phrase for which Disney recently submitted a trademark application

May 12, 2011

"I had a major hand and play in this wonderful thing, getting him out of the mountains and down to the valleys. Someone had to get him out of there. That's where I came in. I scared the squirrel out of his hole, he popped his head up and he got capped...He hadn't been living [in the Abbottabad compound] for no damn six years. I absolutely flushed him out."

– Gary Faulkner, the OBL-hunting sword-wielding American arrested in Pakistan last summer, trying to make the case that he should receive some of the $25 million reward money

May 10, 2011

"Osama bin Laden is dead! Happy days! Happy days, everybody! This is the greatest night of my career!"

– Geraldo Rivera, confirming that even the death of Osama bin Laden is about him

May 09, 2011

"The National Institute for Literacy estimates that 47% of adults (more than 200,000 individuals) in the City of Detroit are functionally illiterate, referring to the inability of an individual to use reading, speaking, writing, and computational skills in everyday life situations. We also know that of the 200,000... approximately half have a high school diploma or GED..."

– from a recent report

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